Looking Back...

The time has came. It had been a long 12 weeks but it was also a memorable one. My LTB journey had finally ended with a deserving finale on Saturday.

To tell the truth I was not at all excited when I was first assigned the group. Firstly I did not know anyone. Secondly I was the only local guy. Thirdly the girls to guys ratio was too skewed. So I was not too enthusiastic towards the entire LTB project at first.

The turning point actually came when I managed to make all my other group members angry during one of the earlier meeting. I felt quite guilty and decided to volunteer to do more stuff to make up for it. I like to think that they have forgiven me but I'm not too sure about that.

I had lost count of the number of times the group has met over the weeks but three times a week was probably the minimum. There were always countless problems to tackle and numerous issues to settle. Along the way there were setbacks and disappointments but they were all part of the learning experience.

I think that I kept my emotions under check quite well throughout the 12 weeks. Even if I was pissed-off and frustrated, I could still put on a front and not reveal my feelings. I sound like a hypocrite here but this is a self-defense mechanism for me I guess.

For every group the difference in the level of commitment among the group members will always exist. Personally I felt that the project would not have got going without the initiative of two people; namely Cecilia and Yan Ting. It was quite obvious that they were always the ones initiating meetings and getting things done.

I felt that only doing the tasks that were given to us explicitly were not enough. Very often not enough initiatives were undertaken in my opinion and it resulted in us taking the easiest way out. The class presentation was quite an obvious example; I thought that we started out with several great ideas but we did not push them through and ended with a rather dull presentation.

Luckily our final presentation did not go down the same route. Although there were many uncertainties and logistical concerns, I insisted on the original idea because I really wanted to do well and did not want our presentation to end up mediocre. In the end I could safely say that our final presentation was easily the best among all the groups.

I like to thank everyone who had extended assistance to our team throughout our project. There were too many to mention but I'm really grateful for all the generosity and sorry for all the inconveniences that we might have caused.

LTB had been part of life for the past two months plus and it felt kind of weird as there will be no more LTB meetings. Not that I'm complaining but I had fun doing all the LTB stuff. Although it was demanding at times the satisfaction at the end was quite worth it. If I'm able to get an A-, perhaps I will apply to be TA for LTB in the future.

It's proven that I'm someone who does not keep friends very well. I could not recall most of my primary school friends and almost lost all contact with the friends made in JC days. Nowadays I also hardly see my army buddies as well. The main reason why I still see the VS guys frequently is because of football.

I don't know whether I will remain close to the group mates. Most probably we will just become acquaintances who say hi and bye when we meet in school in the future. Regardless of that, I will like to acknowledge the fact that all the group members have made an impact on my life. Thank you all for being part of this short but memorable journey with me.

Today

I received a good news that our KACC team had won the competition at NUS today. It was really a pleasant surprise because the last time we played a tournament at NUS we drew one game and lost the other two.

I was quite happy that the team had won but also felt quite sian because I was not part of it. I couldn't make it because of the presentation in school. Well this kind of thing is inevitable; just like all the NDP rehearsals in the past.

Most of us have been playing football together for at least 5 years but this is the first time that we actually won something. In many occasions in the past we often gave too much respect to the opponents and had little confidence in ourselves. We could string some nice moves but lack the killer instinct in front of goal.

It seemed that today's winning team banished all the self-doubts and started to believe. While we would still be happy even when we were defeated, the joy of winning is something to savour.

KACC Spartans, enjoy your glory now!!!

Competitiveness

Saturday is going to be my LTB's presentation.

Currently I'm under gag order from my group not to reveal anything about our presentation to other project groups. We also have to hide our preparation from the other groups until the presentation day. At the same time, we are all speculating about what other groups are doing for their presentations.

So far we managed to get a rough idea what some other groups are doing from our intelligence reports. However I don't think that we really need to know this.

Firstly even we know exactly what the other groups are doing, what can we do? We go and sabotage them ah? Cannot be right... I think that it is not very easy to come up with very original presentation ideas in such a short time as well. So not much point finding out.

Secondly who knows whether they are playing mind games? Maybe they are trying to affect us by spreading around the wrong information. So I'm not totally believing all the stuff that I've been hearing.

Thirdly and most importantly, I think our presentation will be not bad. If there is any other group who can match us in terms of props and fluff, I will be damn damn impressed la. So as long as we do our parts well, everything else should turn up fine for us.

Hmmm... Can't wait for Saturday to come and show them what we are made of...

Stunned

Dear friend,

Welcome to the team! I am very pleased to share that you are now part of the Facilitators' Training Program for the Students' Association Freshmen Team-building Camp 2007.

You will receive an official Letter of Appointment from Dean of Students, Professor Low Aik Meng. I am sure your enthusiasm and passion will contribute to the atmosphere and character of the camp and I am confident that as a team, we will all make this year's FTB experience a successful and memorable one for all freshmen.

By the end of the week, I will be sharing with you all the information you will need about the coming Facilitation Training Camp. If you have any queries, please feel free to email me or the FTB Organizing Committee at orientation@sa.smu.edu.sg

Once again, Professor Low, Director of the Office of Student Life Shirley Soh as well as all of us from the FTB Organizing Committee offer our congratulations and warmly welcome you to the FTB team.

Thank you and see you soon at the facilitator training!

--

Best Regards,

Andrew Wong

Chairperson

Freshmen Teambuilding Camp '07 Organizing Committee

Vice President

7th SMU Students' Association ExCo

Hahahahah.... Can't believe right?

I can't believe it myself too....

Easy Way Out

During yet another LTB meeting this afternoon, our discussion drifted to the upcoming summer terms. Everyone seemed to be talking about it because the bidding for the modules starts today and many of the group mates are interested to do the summer modules.

Although I want to graduate early too, I do not feel like taking any summer terms. It is my personal choice and I went on reveal a little about myself to my group mates .

So far, I admit that I have not been trying my best, especially academic-wise. However, if I get to live my life again, I think that I will do the exact same things. Reason: In my opinion, the marginal improvement in grades is not worth the significant amount of added effort. In the meantime, I will probably miss out on many things that I enjoy if I really push myself to maximize my potential.

The reactions from most of the group members were rather negative; one particularly stood out. She said that I am someone with no ambitions and she said that with the most contempt and disgust. I could tell that from her eyes that she really despises people with no ambitions (yeah I'm one of those).

I was quite startled by her reaction. However, everybody is entitled to his/her opinion. I do agree with her that I lack ambitions. That's probably because everything has not been too difficult so far and life has been rather smooth-sailing to me.

While I'm not those kind who completely never do work, somehow I do not need to work particularly hard for my results. I've always delivered on the big occasions; from PSLE up to my driving test. Luck will probably run out one day but I hope that it will not be anytime soon.

When I was younger, I did have big dreams. However along the way I realized my own mortality and limitations. There are so many people out there better than me and there are so many things that I cannot do. The realization was probably too hard for me to take and changed my thinking. Mediocrity is probably good enough and the easy way out is probably the best way out.

Oh gosh... This sounds so demoralizing... Seriously I need to find my ambitions back. Perhaps I can begin by setting some goals to aim for.

1st Anniversary

Today is the first anniversary of my ORD.

Time really flies.

I can still remember beating Almo in Winning Eleven to get back my pink i/c.

If given a choice I definitely will not want to serve NS.

However, the two years stint in 46SAR was none the less one of the most memorable periods of my life.

Somehow it shaped my character and opened my eyes to many things.

Without it I will probably never fully comprehend the actual meaning of being 'tired'.

Without it I will probably still believe that 'no men are born evil' is true.

Without it I will probably never know that I can go for one week without bathing.

Without it I will probably never understand why Singapore spend so much on defence.

Without it I will probably never appreciate the importance of canned food.

Without it I will probably still believe that slavery does not exit in Singapore.

Without it I will probably never see Taj Mahal.

Without it I will probably never understand how a 'micro-organism' feel.

Without it I will not have made so many good friends.

Without it I will probably not know that 'garang' rhymes with 'wayang'.

Without it I will probably never meet so many interesting people and have so many interesting stories to share.

Without it I will probably still believe that Singapore has a fighting chance in case of war.

Last but not least without it, I definitely will not be the same person as I am now.

Confession

My LTB project is coming to an end soon.

My group has finished our CSP and is only left with the final presentation (As well as many many loose ends to tie up.)

I have a confession to make.

I actually enjoy doing the LTB project. LOL...

I did not expect that at all in the beginning.

I am really surprised how well the project has turned out.

Perhaps I will write more about it after everything is over.

Key to Troubles

I was stoning in my FA class when Cecilia msn-ed me. I was trying very hard not to laugh when I saw her message. She found out that she brought the Kinderland Auditorium keys back when she got home. LOL....

My instantaneous reaction was to suan her... C'mon... How come so blur....? Got infected by Yan Ting is it....? Hahaha...

Luckily I stopped myself in time. It was bad enough for her to make one more trip back to Kinderland just to return the keys after such a long tiring day. If I were the one holding the key, I will definitely feel !@#$%^&*. In the end I attempted to help her by telling her what I thought was the fastest route there.

So what is the moral of the story?

Never ever volunteer to hold any keys. Period.

Unlucky v Unluckier

Last Saturday the VS gang came over to my place after our football session to catch the biggest game of the season. Liverpool vs Manchester United. For me this got to be the biggest of the season; it is always the first fixture that I check when the fixtures are released. Frankly speaking as long as we managed to beat the Scums, my week will definitely be brightened up 100 times.

One of the most memorable match for me between the two sides was during the 1999 season. It was played early in the morning and only RTM 1 was showing. Channel 5 was showing the North London derby between Arsenal and Spurs and Arsenal was Man Utd's main rival for the title. When I woke up, it was already half-time and Man Utd was 1-0 up courtesy of a goal from Dwight Yorke I think. Second half got worse when Jamie Carragher kicked Jesper Blomqvist in the chest, resulting in a penalty which Denis Irwin connected. I could have switched off the TV and went back to sleep but this was not what a Liverpool fan would do. A real fan would walk on with hope in his heart.

There was to be another penalty, this time it was for Liverpool. Oyvind Leonhardsen was fouled in the area but I couldn't remember who committed the foul. Perhaps it was Irwin because I remembered that he got sent off. Redknapp converted the penalty in front of the Kop and the Anfield was treated to the rousing finale. In the 89th minute, there was a mad scramble in the Scums' penalty box and "Big-time Charlie" Paul Ince stabbed the ball in and stick one up (not yet Sir) Alex Ferguson at the same time.

I probably woke the whole block up when the goal was scored. I can't describe the feeling. Ecstasy coupled with sense of satisfaction plus the release of all the frustration accumulated over the years. Yeah it felt that good. I could still remember that at the final whistle when the announcer broke the news that Arsenal had beaten Spurs, the whole Anfield erupted in cheers. It shows how deep the hatred is; it is not necessarily good but I DO really hate them.

Including me there were 4 Liverpool fans and the Man U brigade comprised of only Shahid and Kendrick. Ken was around too but he gave no indication who he preferred. He better supported Liverpool because it was my house. Ferguson, Scholes, Giggs and Gary Neville were with Man Utd in the 1999 game but for Liverpool only Carragher was still around. A win was long overdue; I couldn't wait to beat them and stopped them from winning the league this season.

Kendrick and Shahid had nothing much to cheer about throughout the match because Liverpool was dominating. We missed many chances and the Liverpool fans simply couldn't believe how unlucky and wasteful our players were. Saha did have a legitimate penalty claim but Bellamy's goal was not offside too. So things did even out.

It was another case of deja vu when Finnan conceded a free kick at the right side of the box. The memory of Rio Ferdinand scoring the last minute goal at Old Trafford returned and how right it proved to be. Reina could only spill Ronaldo's effort and John O'Shea slammed home the winner. And I felt so sick in my stomach watching Shahid and Kendrick rolling on the floor at my house and Gary Neville that bloody fucker celebrating on TV. Simply felt like shit.

We were unlucky but we did not deserve to win because we didn't take our chances. The Scums did and I couldn't see how they could fumble for Chelsea to catch up. They had two bad away games in a row and somehow managed to win in the last minute. It seemed all pre-destined to me. I got this gut feeling that we will draw them in the Champs League where we will knock them out. Serious.

Well Liverpool didn't turn out to be the unluckiest team this weekend. The weekend ended with the thrilling match at Upton Park where 7 goals were scored between West Ham and Spurs. Mark Noble scored in the first half and Tevez also opened his Premiership account with a superb free-kick. Somehow West Ham's defense allowed Spurs to come back through a Defoe penalty and a Taino volley.

When Tevez curled a brilliant free-kick in from the right for Zamora to nod home in the 86th minute, the Hammer fans celebrated as if they won the league. They thought that it could finally be their day which turned out to be just another false dawn. The defence managed to screw up again and conceded a dangerous free-kick which was delightfully curled over the wall and into the net by Berbatov in the 90th minute.

West Ham had no choice but pushed men up for the winner. Tevez who had scored one and made the other two missed the goal by inches and the Spurs managed to launch one last counter-attack which ended with Stalteri followed up on the spilled Defoe's shot. Curbishley couldn't believe what he had witnessed; Magnussun's facial expressions were captured whenever the cameras zoomed in on him and it was pretty obvious that he went through an emotional roller-coaster ride.

Though West Ham still has 9 games to save their season it seemed to be too little too late now. West Ham was undoubtedly the unluckiest team this weekend.